My mind is all over the place. I have a hard time concentrating on a given task for any amount of time. I recently listened to a broadcast where a preacher admitted to his bout with depression and that a person can only tolerate hyper-stimulation (my school program) for so long before they even realize that something is terribly wrong. I can relate. I’ve been there before. I had a bout for about 6 months several years ago. I was lucky in the sense that I was still able to function but just could not place my finger on this lingering feeling of utter emptiness and activities that normally brought me joy were now tedious. I had an immense social schedule and a relationship had just gone sour but I tried to fabricate that everything was going hunky dory by filling my schedule to the brim. I at times feel like I am at that same edge again as I am on my 2-week summer break and have a hell of a time trying to relax. I blame our program going a million miles a minute and then you just… stop. But there are other underlying factors that I can’t hold to the system. It runs in the family. Even winning major recognition from your professors doesn’t seem to appease the feeling yet I know I have chosen the right profession. I am dreading the start-up of school next week to finish the last 2½ months and I haven’t been sleeping and I cannot relax for the life of me when I need it most. I sleep a couple of hours a night and I am exhausted. I never thought it would happen to me just like I used to make fun of people with back pain until I began to experience it myself due to sports injuries from rugby. This disease sucks.

Tags: random thoughts by qec
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Just when you think society has gone to the piss-pot, it’s heartening to know that there are just some plain common decent folk out there. It’s a minor thing. It’s not really a big thing at all. The principle behind it is. I recently took my truck to the shop and when I left, never realized that my insurance card had been AWOL. Lo and behold, when I arrived at home and checked the mail a couple of days later, there was a envelope with our insurance card and a kind note included from a stranger indicating it had been left in their vehicle instead of mine.

THE DEFINITION OF A GENTLEMAN

The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.

The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly–the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light

The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.

-Robert Edward Lee

Having come across this on the eve of the conclusion to our mental health rotations, which included serving in soup line, navigating the city streets via public transportation and feeding those afflicted with Alzheimer’s, I can only hope to incorporate that motto in my practice. We who have opted for these difficult paths would not have chosen them if we didn’t live this in our daily lives. I understand the difficulties we face in the medical field and I do not have all the answers, but the one thing I do have control over is my attitude and how I respond to people and situations.

Tags: nursing school, ramblings, random thoughts by qec
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I had considered filling my blog entirely of nursing stories from the viewpoint of a student who has spent a majority of his clinical hours in a very intense ICU. I am not saying any one ICU is better than another, I am just saying that from my current viewpoint considering the length of stay of a majority of our patients and the absolute physical labor required to work with them. Now life is too interesting just to post solely about nursing. Those of us who have spent any amount of time working in an E.R. are well aware of the surprises… yeah… surprises, life can throw at you. Since I am on psych rotations this week, and I am a football fan, I came across an article describing how The Dallas Cowboys take care of their own?! With some of the shenanigans we see in any of the professional sports, why am I surprised to see that Jerry Jones thinks he can run his own rehab unit?! Why the attraction to the wayward children in the NFL? The acquisition of Terrel Owens, then troubled Tank Johnson from Chicago, then the gerontological acquisition of Zach Thomas. And now rumors of picking up Adam “Pacman” Jones from Tennessee?! I guess I should be very well aware that all entertainers, Jerry Jones included, live by the adage that any press that will bring them attention is well worth the effort. Now what’s that disease called? Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Tags: ramblings, random thoughts, sports by qec
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The rambling thoughts of a student sitting through a psychiatric staff meeting.

Why psychiatric nursing? Why psychiatric anything? Why would anyone subject themselves to the constant lunacy? I know the reasons most of us get into healthcare so we can ‘fix’ something broken. What gets you out of bed in the morning when you have slid from optimism to pessimism? When psychiatrists poo-poo the repetitious behavior of their own patients, how do they stay motivated? What is their reasoning for continuing to treat those not wanting to be treated, yet those same patients go through the motions to try and prove to society they are trying to heal themselves? Do we do so out of self-preservation? Do we do so because we want them to fit the mold that society deems as normal? (Heaven forbid!) Out of selfish pride are we thinking that we do not want to run into them on the street? Why the risk investing in their care if we saw them publicly knowing we would turn the other way? I sit here pondering, knowing that us “healthy people” are one step away from any of the myriad of conditions that we readily treat. We have our own dysfunctions, addictions and behaviors that could just as easily push us over the edge. I know one thing for certain. We are not promised tomorrow.

Tags: ramblings, random thoughts by qec
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